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Tag: mental

So Tired

Published by Lee Under the Cedar Trees on August 21, 2025

I hate my words I hate my thoughts I hate my speech I hate my silence I hate this I hate all of this I can’t stand me   why can’t I just die in my sleep   I shouldn’t be here    I shouldn’t be here    I shouldn’t be here    I can’t live in this brain    I can’t anymore     I just can’t     I’m too tired    it’s too much   and I’m just too tired   I don’t know how    I don’t know how    I don’t know how    I can’t flip the switch    I just can’t flip the switch     I can’t     I just can’t      I can’t, yet I will    I will    against nature, I will    I don’t know how     I don’t know how     I can’t keep doing this  I can’t I can’t I can’t    why should I    why should they    why should they wait any longer     why can’t I be brave      why why why why why      I’m a coward        why why why  …

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Breathing This Way

Published by Lee Under the Cedar Trees on July 29, 2025

I want to be wrong more than right.
I hope I’m wrong about so many things.

I inhale many possible outcomes every minute,
so many that I can’t even taste them anymore,
and exhale apologies with and for every breath.

What are my lungs doing?
Why do they feel this way, hating me?
Why must they tell the world, over and over,
“I’m so sorry I’m here”?

.

July 29, 2025
~ 4 a.m.

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