Will I be tempered in the crucible
Of this cutting new awareness,
Maybe even sharpened to a razor’s edge?
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Will I be tempered in the crucible
Of this cutting new awareness,
Maybe even sharpened to a razor’s edge?
May they serve to remind my future self of the importance of perseverance, of how quickly things can change, and the value in maintaining good human connections with the right people.
Some days I get a little angry.
Some days I get a little rebellious.
I don’t know why.
Some days I get extremely angry,
almost enraged,
and I still don’t know why.
Is this really grief for the fantasy now dead,
Or is it regret for seven years tainted
With a lie I told myself?
My metaphors are odd, mismatched
My word choices are unusual, maybe nonsensical…
I became emboldened
Thinking this was it
Thinking I had the big mystery solved
I was carried by my arrogance
This is temporary.
This is temporary.
This is temporary.
Someday soon you will be able to write about happy things again.
Someday soon you will laugh, and make someone laugh, again.
Don’t give up. Don’t lose hope.
Just hang in there a little longer.
I promise, you’ll feel better.
Of course, that won’t last forever, either. You’ll be back. Nothing lasts forever. Take comfort in that.
…crawling with shallow punishments… inflicted in anger and defiance of the norm, and refusal to accept its claims.
I belong nowhere
Or I belong everywhere
Why can others choose
Welcoming others
I am reminded again
I shouldn’t be here
Glancing at others
With peripheral vision
Why am I still here
The moon is so bright in the early sky!
My breath comes easily,
My body feels a little lighter and moves easily on command.
The horizon lightens as I run,
Run, run, run,
Then run some more, faster this time.
The strings and melodies can reach me.
The bass and drums, the rhythm, push my cadence.
They touch the beast inside, placating it,
Soothing it and me.
Words from friends and allies ring true again.
The illusion of falsehood dissipates.
This is how I know that today is a day for relief,
That today is a day when I belong here again!
October 18, 2024