Words escape today
Stanzas run the other way
Is there nothing left?
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Words escape today
Stanzas run the other way
Is there nothing left?
Before I know it
Not for the first time
I wonder why I’m here
And I want to become tiny again
July 11, 2025
When she lets you in, everything will change.
You will not be in our world anymore.
The world will swirl around you
and her
and her
and her.
.
July 7, 2025
(Reflecting upon the potential future romantic success of a friend.)
“I refuse to change who I am”, I proudly declare;
but who the hell is that “I”, anyway,
and what do they really want for me?
.
July 5, 2025
Beg gracious pardons,
put yourself first for once and
go before them all
The me of today wants everyone to have what they need and at least some of what they want, and to do their best.
Ocean of thoughts crushes under its depths
Thoughts intrude from the inside but almost as if from others
I know they can’t live without me
But, in their insistence on return, it seems
I can’t live without them, either
Wake sleep wake again
Room for one more white helper
Smooth edge jagged edge
.
2:50 a.m.
I march on daily
Stubbornly refusing to yield
A rebel parade of one
…
Sometimes I start doing relatively well for a time. Days, weeks, maybe I get some good months, even. I get the audacity to start thinking that I’m improving, that I’m figuring things out. But then something will always end up putting me back in my place and reminding me that I can’t figure out how to be a whole, normal person. This cycle will repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and will not end for as long as I live. The responsible thing is to bow out for real, but I still just can’t do it. I’m stuck.