I’m screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming
to myself, silently
into the dark
hoping for catharsis
but I’m still just as fucked
The author and site owner can be reached at leeundercedartrees@gmail.com.
I’m screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming
to myself, silently
into the dark
hoping for catharsis
but I’m still just as fucked
Wouldn’t it hurt far less
in the grand scheme of everything
if, instead…
For now, this place remains
Deep in my dreamscape
A fantasy to indulge…
Born some years ago
Today I celebrate him
Great friend and ally
Empty eyes staring
Why do they resist me still
So close to my shore
How is it that the feelings of others
Usually so obscure
Can at times be so much clearer
So much sharper around the edges
Than what’s inside my own core…
Rarely seen under the daytime sun
Appearing from time to time
Collecting energy enough to gleam…
Some night last week, I had a dream that I can very vaguely remember just a tiny bit of. I dreamed that I admitted myself to a mental health care institution of some sort.
… With many computers… and cats.
I feel like there’s something I’m not willing to admit to myself
But I keep getting closer to uncovering it
I feel like I need to. It’s part of the process. But I’m afraid it’s going to hurt
Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe it’s something, but not such a big deal. Maybe it’s not very painful at all. Maybe I’m overreacting to a minor discomfort. Maybe it’s something absolutely horrible, something I will hate myself for.
Distant countenance
Calm façade yet further down
I can’t stop screaming