Why must I fight tears
For your uncertainties?
Because …
The author and site owner can be reached at leeundercedartrees@gmail.com.
Morning came again:
confusing mix of apathy
and disappointment
.
3:45 AM
I should have learned by now
I should know better by now
Why will I never learn?
The spring evening sun is still shining
I wish it got dark early year-round
I’m waiting for early sleep
Finally forming a new atheist prayer:
…
Waking in the night just before 3 a.m. when he finally joins me
Rather than withdrawing, remaining separate, irritated at the disruption
I instead open the blankets and lift an arm to welcome him
…
It’ll be 4 a.m. soon
Everything is different at 4 a.m.
….
Crying is blocked when others would or possibly could see it.
When it does happen, I’m almost always alone.
Supposedly cedars will burn quite savagely.
Violently.
I’ve never seen it
But I have no reason to believe this false.
…
How quickly would an entire forest disappear
With trees so eager to burn and share?
…
Frothing at the mouth
Over prophesized outcomes
I’ll never prevent
Fury turned inward:
History deafens me while
Self-hate steals my sight
I’m angry as hell
At predicted ends because
I’m fucking mental
How smooth in my hand
How white under the night sky
This stone tells me truths