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Category: Journaling

The Loneliest Place

A room full of people can feel like the loneliest place on earth, when every person there is just another reminder of your inherent failure to connect and/or understand. Paradoxically, sometimes it’s easier to remember you’re still human when you’re alone.

Suppression Aches

When I feel an urge to talk about something I feel passionate about, something I’m excited about, something I feel good about — now I try to remember to stop, think, realize that the people around me are not interested and I must keep it to myself. I seal my mouth, suppress the urge, and feel the ache spread from my chest through my arm.

Group harmony has helped me connect.

I think I figured out another good thing I get from doing budō. Efforts to create and maintain group harmony is actually helping me learn how to socialize better, and helping me connect with people. I think I saw some fruits of those efforts today. It was a really good feeling. Rewarding. Maybe I helped someone. Not sure I can really say that for sure, but I hope I did. A small aside — I love how some of my classmates tend to speak in metaphors, even when they may not mean to. Having people around from different parts of the world with different first languages lends itself to that, and it’s another way for me to broaden my way of thinking. I love it.

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