Good words from a friend

Today I was re-reading a message that a friend sent me a day or two ago when I was particularly struggling. I usually stick to posting my own words here, peppered with the occasional quote from another — but this is something I want to make sure I keep, and will find again, maybe when I really need it.

This was when I realized that my friend and I may be more similar than I ever thought…

I’ve made very minor edits to preserve anonymity.

Thank you, friend.

---

I’m no professional, nor have I sought that kind of help even if I should. But, my answer is that though we don’t fully ever really get away from these feelings, these moments… the darkness… I feel I’ve leaned to at least acknowledge these times as my illness and nothing more. That, though things seem awful, when it seems like everyone hates me and I hold no value to this place… I have to take a breath and realize that those thoughts, those feelings are not truth. Not reality. Not really…

It’s a part of who I am, and I’ll constantly be fighting myself. And I get tired… and I feel lonely and sad and wish I could break out of this stupid meat sack that’s holding me back so I can just be free… but, life is the struggle sometimes. And the most important thing I’ve learned is that the struggle is worth the good times, no matter how fleeting they might by be… how short they sometimes are… they are life.

Playing games, watching ___, laughing at some meme… those silly little moments when I live are why I live… and I’ll fight every day to have another one single moment just like those.

You don’t have to be afraid… and you don’t have to be alone. Find the thing. It won’t be huge, it won’t be glorious or epic… it’ll be small, personal, yours. And remember in these moments that thing that is yours… that is you. And remember that the darkness doesn’t define who you are, even as a part of you… it isn’t you. You are the moments of clarity. The moments of joy. The moments of peace. That is who you are, and we can live in those moments however brief they are; for eternities if we just remember them in the dark.