Isolation (on the need for); depression recurrence

Sudden thought today: when I feel a need to withdraw, to isolate, I think what I really need to do may depend on why I’m feeling that urge.

If I’m withdrawing because I’m depressed, because I’m feeling worthless, then it can be a good thing to force myself to connect to others even if just for a little while. It helps ground me, get me out of my own head, and maybe even convince myself that the thoughts of worthlessness may be wrong.

On the other hand, if I’m overstimulated/overwhelmed, isolation can help calm me down, lower the stress, reduce stimulation etc.

In other words… when depressed, the need to be alone is false. When overstimulated, it’s true.

Today I learned that doctors, apparently, call it a “recurrence” (rather than “relapse”) if it happens more than six months after the end of your last episode. I’m definitely in the middle of a recurrence of depression now.

I hate it.