Let me find the way without it

A confidant asked me recently 
(Gently, as is their way)
How, when I pick up that tool
I know when I’m finished 

How do I know when it’s enough 

In times of panicked desperation I reach for it 
Occasionally a morbid sort of training
A training of willpower
Otherwise, just a crude release
When nothing else seems to have effect 
And dry eyes give no rescue 

For it to do this work
For the tension to finally begin to melt
Something must be removed
Even if small, of little worth
For how can you build something up
When so much rottenness stands in your way
And how can that way ever be cleared
If nothing is destroyed  

The biggest obstacle to my peace
Is right here behind these eyes
Waiting for me to set it right

This tool, lost and misguided
Just wants to show me the way

March 6 – 22, 2025