Monster Lullabies 2

Previous in series: Monster Lullabies

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The monster is sleeping deeply on the forest floor again today.

Emboldened by past success,
I stand firm but unfrozen when I see it.

If it wakes, will it give chase?
Will it toy with me, or pursue to kill?

The quiet peace brings forth
The familiar forest sounds that soothe:
The wind that makes it to the branches,
The birds chirping for each other,
The rustling of hungry deer in the brush.

Other life here reaches my delicate ears, courageous,
Freed from the roars that often echo
Between the trunks, in the leaves.
It’s breath is a low rumble deep in its chest.

If only it could stay asleep!

What has lulled it to dreamland this time? Boredom? Exhaustion?

Does it remember me in dreams?

How long do I have before it wakes up again? Hours? Days? Weeks?

How long do I have before the next fight?

Did it simply grow tired of the chase?

For now, maybe. But it’ll be back.

I came here armed with sword, stick, and bow
But I don’t think they’re enough.

I’ve been practicing diligently,
But not enough, it seems.
Somehow it all persists:
The loneliness, the frustration, the fluctuating apathy,
The desire to repair all the connections
That somehow just continue to break.

What if…
(Now, forgive me this strange line of thought)
What if this beast is trying to help me?

Maybe I’ve been wrong all along.
Maybe this really is a friend
Trying to give me something precious.

Maybe I’ve been wrong all along
And everything will be alright in the end,
But there’s no way to know
Until I get there.
Please… just show me what to do.

It’s hard to see this turning out well no matter what I do.

I have to try.
It’s time to get close to it
To try again. 

My hand is on its face.
“There, there…”
I’m petting it gently.
I’m having a one-sided conversation with it now.

“Are you having sweet dreams?
You’re ok. You’re ok.”
A little bolder than last time, slightly above a whisper.
I’m really starting to believe it means well.
It wants to take me somewhere.
That’s why it pursues me. To lead me. 

“You’re just trying to put me where I belong, aren’t you?”

It makes a low sound, deep in its throat. 

“You want the best for me?”

That sound again… it’s not a growl. Not aggressive.

I’m studying its face.
Somehow, it doesn’t seem so fiercely aggressive anymore.
It doesn’t look so hateful.
It seems like it’s just… tired.

It looks so very, very, tired. 

I’m surprised.
Could it really be getting fatigued of this war?

Does this wicked, painful force of nature actually just want to be done with all this, too?

I look down. I see something I never noticed before. Has it always been there?

A little thorn, stuck in its arm. How did I miss it?
The skin around it is raised and angry-red. It looks painful. 

I grab it, and slowly pull, and pull until it’s released… It’s so sharp.
It’s long, it was buried deep, and it’s covered in thick black blood.

Will this let it sleep longer?

It whimpers, then quiets again, settled, seemingly content for now as I creep away silently.

We’ll see what happens next time.

September 22, 2024 – January 21, 2025