Crawling on my Shoulder

My shoulder’s crawling with shallow punishments.
Badges of victory, yes; but still punishment all the same.
They’re inflicted in anger and defiance of the norm,
and refusal to accept its claims.
With each scratch
I’m immediately rewarded
with little beads that spread wide on tissues.
These simultaneously
confirm that I’m still here (so defiantly here), and
punish my audacity. 

(To hell with you! I’m staying here today!)

The skin calls me back,
burning, tingling, itching;
demanding attention from time to time.
Soothing it brings a small relief as
the care from cleaning and lotions
is a tiny reward.

(I’m not going anywhere.)

I observe how they change over time
with mild interest:
Will this one stay? What about this one?
That one has already faded.
They tease the beast with just enough
of me to taste, not enough to consume.
These will have to be enough to satisfy it. 

(Leave me alone! This is the most you’ll get from me!)

It won’t punish me, 
it won’t harm me,
if I’ve already done so in its place 
on my own terms and by my own hand.

October 25, 2024