I wonder what it feels like for the other kind
Both so close and so far from me
…
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I wonder what it feels like for the other kind
Both so close and so far from me
…
I’m not much of a woman
Maybe I’m half of one
My body has the shape
We’ve largely agreed to call female
My chromosomes are oblique crosses
I’m seeing double
Am I missing half of my mind?
I play life defensively
Guarding what I must within reason
I take inside when I choose to
I bleed
But it feels like I missed something
When they were handing out
Club membership cards
Where’s the rest of me?
I check the F box on forms
With confidence
But at the same time
I feel like I’m sitting outside of it
Looking in
November 26, 2024
(A continuation of 98% Sure)
It was and is the right choice.
I still know this with 98% certainty.
So
I wonder if what’s really making me so sad about this now
Is not that what could have been never was
Is not that I continue to resolutely choose this
But why it’s so certainly right
And how part of me wishes
(In my selfishness)
It was all a big mistake
And I am able
And actually deserve
To add to humanity’s pool of the world’s only
Truly unconditional love
October 8, 2024
I was always so sure.
98% sure, I would think.
“Just isn’t for me”, I would say.
How might things have been different?