I can say it, and that seems to get the message across. But all the rest of my love just falls flat.
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I can say it, and that seems to get the message across. But all the rest of my love just falls flat.
How is it
that no matter how many curtains I draw
over every window I pass,
the dark can always find me?
…
This place isn’t mine
To carve my odd shape into
…
“It’s too much. Again. Again, you go too far!”
I hear it loud and clear.
“You are too much!”
I am too much,
But — too much for what? Too much for who?
…
It was you I was thinking of the other day
when I suddenly thought to myself:
“They make me feel so…. Normal.”
…
In the corridors of your presence
I find four heavy doors
Behind the first
If I want to make thoughts real
Can form the words
And can synchronize the throat
I do
Behind the second…
Crying is blocked when others would or possibly could see it.
When it does happen, I’m almost always alone.
These old woods have gotten quiet
Darkened by clouds that won’t crack
Silenced by a muffling blanket
Invisible but felt
Heavy and oppressive
Rainfall is long overdue
Drought is spreading beneath the canopy
Branches bend in the increasing wind
Into little smiles beckoning outsiders
It still looks green from a distance
…
That sinking feeling sets in when I remember
Shrinking makes me better
Becoming smaller makes me greater
Taking up as little space as possible
It’s the best thing I can do
To remain in the correct place
The path to betterment
Requires me to repeatedly ask it
What I need to do to fit through the cracks
But how does one get smaller than this
.
May 4 – 5, 2025
On and on and on and on and on and on
I listen, praising myself internally
For remembering to keep my mouth shut
How smoother these cogs turn
By the grease of my silence
.
April 27, 2025