I’m coughing.
A heart turns over, hot.
I’m choking…
The author and site owner can be reached at leeundercedartrees@gmail.com.
I’m coughing.
A heart turns over, hot.
I’m choking…
I want to not be like this. I want to be able to accomplish and explore. I want to be able to feel real connection. I can’t connect with others. I can’t balance my life. I can’t reach goals. I can’t keep my thoughts straight. I can’t I can’t I can’t. I don’t want to be this person. My brain doesn’t work properly. I know I’m not supposed to be here. I’m not meant to be here.
Three in the morning
The cat is grooming herself
My only company
Husband wide awake
…
My thoughts are not really mine but they are internalizations of all the things others have said, even without always directly saying them.
Lee under shadows:
boughs conceal the worst of her
under these cedars
Words escape today
Stanzas run the other way
Is there nothing left?
“I refuse to change who I am”, I proudly declare;
but who the hell is that “I”, anyway,
and what do they really want for me?
.
July 5, 2025
I march on daily
Stubbornly refusing to yield
A rebel parade of one
…
It was you I was thinking of the other day
when I suddenly thought to myself:
“They make me feel so…. Normal.”
…
I learned something important about myself today.
I need a best friend. Without one, I don’t feel whole.