Behind the wheel, keeping my eyes on the road
somehow lowers shields around my mind.
As I drive the comfort of familiar grey,
you’re able to sneak inside,
creeping on tippy-toes without a sound.
once
August 23, 2025
All my foolish ways
Return to taunt me tonight
As the world grows dark
Every success, invigorating;
Every hug, affirming…
On some days, like today
My mind can be content
But unstill
It jumps, it scatters
It’s happy but restless…
I want to be wrong more than right.
I hope I’m wrong about so many things.
I inhale many possible outcomes every minute,
so many that I can’t even taste them anymore,
and exhale apologies with and for every breath.
What are my lungs doing?
Why do they feel this way, hating me?
Why must they tell the world, over and over,
“I’m so sorry I’m here”?
.
July 29, 2025
~ 4 a.m.
Followed up by: Denial Determined
Every heartbeat, dishonest;
Every breath, wasteful;
Every action, fraudulent.
This perseverance, cowardice;
An ending determined, righteous.
.
July 22, 2025
~ 11:20 p.m.
I don’t want to exist
like this;
but I still know,
and can’t forget.
Some days it’s a bridge
Some days it’s a rainbow
Whatever it is today…
…While I have not lived your life
I have lived mine
And mine has lead me to exactly who I am today…