I have no great preoccupation with romance.
I have no deep obsession with the physical satisfaction
that’s only a small, perhaps even optional part
of our experiences connecting us as human beings.
Some only care about interlocking body parts:
…
I don’t understand people. I don’t always know why some things are ok but not other things. I get things wrong all the time that other people seem to just understand. Often I just don’t get it.
I can’t fix this ridiculous brain — I can only try to manage. But how do I manage this? I’m just going to keep making absolutely stupid mistakes. Others will keep wondering what the hell is wrong with me. It’ll happen again, and again, and again. I don’t know how to manage it.
To live in a time of wires, airwaves, satellites
We can touch each others’ minds
When we play catch with our thoughts
Across time and space
Shrinking this planet for our kind
…
Today I reflect on connections
Giving love, receiving love
So many feedback loops
All precious, all powerful
All so very necessary
Like all things invaluable
Each with a secret expiry
Some brutal painful day
So hold them tight, cherishing
Until their inevitable dissolution
November 30, December 3 2024
My love grows in a mindfully cultivated garden
Raised to be shared with a small selection
As nutritious ingredients
For their wholesome efforts
…
Relationships of all kinds are tested with how they handle their first (or any?) fight.
I’ve had so few fights with friends. I wondered why before I realised that I’m usually ghosted first.
November 26, 2024
I need to remember
To keep my defenses high
I need to remember
To guard my foolishly soft heart
I need to remember
To enjoy it guardedly when it’s here
I need to remember
How it hurt in the past when it’s gone
I need to remember
It always eventually leaves
November 24, 2024
A friend recently mentioned jealousy in a conversation, which got me thinking…
I don’t get jealous so much. I don’t hate others — I just can get very very sad if I lose something important, and internalize it. I have a problem with myself, not the other.
Revisiting words
Those that once tugged emotional strings
Wetting eyes and shortening breath
Without changing form
Somehow have become vicious…
…to experience the depth
The comfort and warmth found when
Reaching all the way down…