Wheels begin to turn
Need takes flight
…
The author and site owner can be reached at leeundercedartrees@gmail.com.
Wheels begin to turn
Need takes flight
…
“It’s ok, no matter what happens.” they tell me, but I fear for them anyway. Their logic, reason, and emotional intelligence is some of the most powerful I’ve ever seen. I fear for them — their potential disappointment, sadness, loneliness, heartbreak — they act like their shields are all securely in place but I sense joints in their defenses where pain can seep through.
So much love given:
surely most will
find its way back home
Love is infinite:
it knows only the limits
our fear imposes
.
(I see how much love some others generate and share. I wish they’ll always see as much as possible come back to them.)
Senseless fear, senseless fear,
Always waiting near;
Senseless fear, senseless fear,
Destroying what’s held dear.
Creeping fear, creeping fear,
Robbing me of sleep;
Creeping fear, creeping fear,
Crawling in so deep.
Silent fear, silent fear,
Fraying threads so thin;
Silent fear, silent fear,
I fear the day you win.
.
June 25, 2025, late; June 26 edits
No trickles today
No regrets, few fears
The only tremors, slight as they were, the daily quivering from roots that anchor me to the rhythm of my own heartbeat
(Stream of consciousness foolishness, as sleep begins creeping in.)
…
I need to write
I need to breathe deeply
I need to inhale your calm peace
So I can exhale all this fear in exchange
…
A friend a couple weeks ago helped me begin to think: “Rather than a defect causing difficulties, it’s a difference causing difficulties.”
For you who holds my hands in one of your own
While holding a gentle mirror before me with the other
…
Some friends are closer than others. Supposedly, so-called “soulmates” (people often only use that word in the context of romance and sex, but that’s not the only application of the term) can come in various forms, including friends and even family — I’ve been learning about the concept of “platonic soulmates”, where people have a very close bond with a friend for which there is zero romantic interest or sexual attraction. These are supposedly the friends you can truly be yourself around, who actually, honestly accept you; who you may have a great emotional intimacy with; who are there for you through just about anything imaginable; who help you really discover who you are, both good and bad. They bring so much benefit into your life, and with less up-and-down volatility (better word??) than can come with relationships of a romantic nature.
I can think of very few people who have come close to this throughout my life…
But I think I may have found one now, and I’m as terrified of losing it as I am grateful to have it.
In the corridors of your presence
I find four heavy doors
Behind the first
If I want to make thoughts real
Can form the words
And can synchronize the throat
I do
Behind the second…