Words escape today
Stanzas run the other way
Is there nothing left?
The author and site owner can be reached at leeundercedartrees@gmail.com.
Words escape today
Stanzas run the other way
Is there nothing left?
Sometimes I start doing relatively well for a time. Days, weeks, maybe I get some good months, even. I get the audacity to start thinking that I’m improving, that I’m figuring things out. But then something will always end up putting me back in my place and reminding me that I can’t figure out how to be a whole, normal person. This cycle will repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and will not end for as long as I live. The responsible thing is to bow out for real, but I still just can’t do it. I’m stuck.
A rarity in my life yesterday
I watched a new life
I studied it intently
I studied all her tiny-isms
Like the edges of her closed eyelids
Those smooth closed eyelids, their warm olive tones
Bringing to mind her mother’s lineage
The shape of her nose, wide and flat
Like the ocean her ancestors crossed to be here
…
The longer I seal my lips
The more sour it becomes
This metallic silence
…
A quarter century of shadows
Coating the brain
Decades of void
Staining the heart
Gazing across that river
Watching them on segments of their path
Visible from here
I have to wonder
Do I see them the same?
Call out my name
Shout it across the house to summon me
To the kitchen to cut vegetables with you
Sing it to me at sundown for soothing comfort
As if I myself am the sweet lullaby
…
To be seen thoroughly, deeply
Is to be known and truly loved
With unmatched honesty
…
I have no great preoccupation with romance.
I have no deep obsession with the physical satisfaction
that’s only a small, perhaps even optional part
of our experiences connecting us as human beings.
Some only care about interlocking body parts:
…
Opening the door
Finding a joyful surprise
You’re awake already
Standing right there
Smiling at the sight of me
With your entire self
…