Why do I automatically suppress anything that feels powerful, unless (until?) it becomes too strong to ignore?
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Why do I automatically suppress anything that feels powerful, unless (until?) it becomes too strong to ignore?
Innate loneliness
Decision wants to be made
To stay or to go
Wouldn’t it hurt far less
in the grand scheme of everything
if, instead…
Some days I get a little angry.
Some days I get a little rebellious.
I don’t know why.
Some days I get extremely angry,
almost enraged,
and I still don’t know why.
I became emboldened
Thinking this was it
Thinking I had the big mystery solved
I was carried by my arrogance
Warm life runs beyond
Horizons unreachable
Starless nightmares cold
Disconnect, alone
Weighing down others’ lips
Fear will save me now
One day I may be just so tired of these return trips
I’ll just be done with it…
Right now it’s just a distant memory
As if long gone, but I know better
So now is the time to arm myself
Choose the weapons, don the armour
Smiling all the while, enjoying this time…
Cobain sang about not having a gun, but ate a 20-gauge.
Benington…
Avicii…
I would love to believe that if they had chosen the other path, they would be glad today that they did.
How do others find the courage?
If I can’t get better, maybe I’d rather reach that level where I can finally act rather than remain in limbo.