“I know you aren’t thinking clearly”, I say
“Not thinking at all, even.”
Somehow, they don’t seem offended
They just continue that hard-edged stare
…
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“I know you aren’t thinking clearly”, I say
“Not thinking at all, even.”
Somehow, they don’t seem offended
They just continue that hard-edged stare
…
Some nights after twilight settles
Evening fears creep into view
Rolling into the night under that cold moon
Usually to fade with the sunrise
But only after they haunt
…
I saw something on a TV show today
That sparked something in me
I felt like I recognized an old friend
That I’ve recently been trying to avoid
And I don’t mean that I’ve seen this show before
…
Dear 2024:
You tried to end me
You tried so hard, repeatedly
To drag me down
You severed some ties
But you didn’t expect a stronger one
To form in the wake of your destruction
You never meant to hand me
A powerful new weapon
You didn’t expect what I gained
You didn’t expect my defenses to grow
You didn’t expect how others would love me
You didn’t account for what I already had
You were sure I’d buckle under your furious onslaught
But in the end, you were caught off guard
And in the arms of those who love me
I prevailed
Dear 2025:
See above.
You’ve been warned.
December 30-31, 2024
You thief of pleasure
Comfort-robber
You shape-shifter
Grabbing and pinching
Tensing and releasing at your whim
Deceptive enough not to hurt outright
But still wrong enough to be sure I feel you
…
Things have changed
My melancholic trials
Are not quite as they were
They feel calmer somehow
Still reaching down, down, down
But closer to frozen
Closer to still
…
Will I be tempered in the crucible
Of this cutting new awareness,
Maybe even sharpened to a razor’s edge?
May they serve to remind my future self of the importance of perseverance, of how quickly things can change, and the value in maintaining good human connections with the right people.
Some days I get a little angry.
Some days I get a little rebellious.
I don’t know why.
Some days I get extremely angry,
almost enraged,
and I still don’t know why.
Is this really grief for the fantasy now dead,
Or is it regret for seven years tainted
With a lie I told myself?