When I met you yesterday, T.
I sat with you for some time
Just listening
From the very beginning
You were precious
Eyes boring into mine
You were so animated, so excited
The more you talked
Realizing someone was listening
Really listening to you
…
I’m not much of a woman
Maybe I’m half of one
My body has the shape
We’ve largely agreed to call female
My chromosomes are oblique crosses
I’m seeing double
Am I missing half of my mind?
I play life defensively
Guarding what I must within reason
I take inside when I choose to
I bleed
But it feels like I missed something
When they were handing out
Club membership cards
Where’s the rest of me?
I check the F box on forms
With confidence
But at the same time
I feel like I’m sitting outside of it
Looking in
November 26, 2024
It was in the springtime when
I decided to do an important experiment
I had a hypothesis to test
…
I listen
I listen
I listen
I offer nothing
I take
I take
I take
I absorb little
I return nothing
I keep the gates closed
And must be satisfied with not drowning myself
November 19, 2024
Stormy skies pound down onto dark shorelines
Anger whips branches and brambles to and fro
Thunder and lighting tear the sky into pieces
Echoing a desperate rage
Found in any lifetime of faulty connections
Dark clouds oppressive with no end in sight
Mix with a melancholy
Only the perpetually lonely can understand…
Rarely seen under the daytime sun
Appearing from time to time
Collecting energy enough to gleam…
Distant countenance
Calm façade yet further down
I can’t stop screaming
Will I be tempered in the crucible
Of this cutting new awareness,
Maybe even sharpened to a razor’s edge?
Could somebody please
Do me a simple favour?
Is this really grief for the fantasy now dead,
Or is it regret for seven years tainted
With a lie I told myself?