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Tag: autistic experience

I feel like giving up today.

I don’t understand people. I don’t always know why some things are ok but not other things. I get things wrong all the time that other people seem to just understand. Often I just don’t get it.

I can’t fix this ridiculous brain — I can only try to manage. But how do I manage this? I’m just going to keep making absolutely stupid mistakes. Others will keep wondering what the hell is wrong with me. It’ll happen again, and again, and again. I don’t know how to manage it.

Realization, Burnout

I was riding high
Fully charged
Shining happy
Until the awakening

Then the reservoir ran low
Now I’m reduced to just
Just reduced…
Reduced to…

Reduced

Anglerfish roam my seas with dead bulbs
Ugly as hell with gaping jaws of crooked teeth
They have no enchantment left
So luring nothing they now go hungry
And the darkest words
Are free to swim as they please

If my guardians starve to death
How can I ever come back to safety

December 22-24, 2024

Returning to the Precious Few

These precious few
I will serve them however I can
They may not want it
They may not ask for it
But whether they like it or not
I’ll give as I can 

This is what I am!
This is how I’m human.

I withdraw and hide
Or fall silent for a time
As the need takes me
But I return when I can
With no less love than before

May I never lose to spite and bitterness
The side of me that brings me back

December 24, 2024

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