When she lets you in, everything will change.
You will not be in our world anymore.
The world will swirl around you
and her
and her
and her.
.
July 7, 2025
(Reflecting upon the potential future romantic success of a friend.)
Ocean of thoughts crushes under its depths
Thoughts intrude from the inside but almost as if from others
I know they can’t live without me
But, in their insistence on return, it seems
I can’t live without them, either
I march on daily
Stubbornly refusing to yield
A rebel parade of one
…
Kind words, patient pauses,
encouragement to shine
Handmade cards, cats on T-shirts,
specially chosen stones
Notes inked on pages in books of wisdom,
celebrating decades lived
Soft roomy sleepwear, fruit in baskets,
flowers to communicate care
Mirrors sharp yet somehow gentle,
encouragement to live
Immense communication wordless and not
echoes through the chambers of my heart,
reminding me what I am to others
.
June 26, 2025
Senseless fear, senseless fear,
Always waiting near;
Senseless fear, senseless fear,
Destroying what’s held dear.
Creeping fear, creeping fear,
Robbing me of sleep;
Creeping fear, creeping fear,
Crawling in so deep.
Silent fear, silent fear,
Fraying threads so thin;
Silent fear, silent fear,
I fear the day you win.
.
June 25, 2025, late; June 26 edits
No trickles today
No regrets, few fears
The only tremors, slight as they were, the daily quivering from roots that anchor me to the rhythm of my own heartbeat
Let instinct guide you
Take my hand in yours
Take my lines in your palms
Wrap yours in mine
I lie fallow
Waiting…
Wake! Wake up!
It screams.
Hear me! Get up!
It whistles.
…
This marriage of elements simply lives a short, furious existence, however it pleases, until exhaustion.
Pale-faced like the ticking round clock on the wall.
Wide-eyed, I listen and wait, hoping to drift.
Hours pass, still hoping.
Too much day sleep, too much caffeine, I think to myself.
Sadistic brain replays conversations, probing with questions, looking for errors.
…
Always analyzing, always seeking the mistakes, always finding a reason to blame.