Sometimes I think it’s gone and am convinced I’m free, even if I know it’s just for a little while. “I’ve had a good week”, I say to myself, and I say to others, and I’m smiling.
Then there’ll be someone in the know…
I mark my victories on my skin. Kind of like the notches that warriors used to etch on their weapons, counting their kills, except these are not representing kills, but suppression. Non-lethal temporary marks for non-lethal temporary victories.
Temporary is the best I can reasonably hope for, but temporary or not, they are still victories and they’re truths that won’t be taken away from me.
Fear fear fear…
for now it hunts and for now it haunts….
There are times we are alone, even when people like to say we’re not. Some things we have to do ourselves, so we kind of are alone. We can still connect with others along the way, but that doesn’t mean they are fighting with us.
Sometimes I feel a little envious of the people who have grown up developing close bonds with extended family members.
I thought I had it beat. I thought it was gone for good. Why won’t it stay gone?
It’s so quiet sitting in the parked car at home. I can hear my own blood near my ears.
I never should have left the words behind.
2023 was the year of gratitude.
2024…
I crossed an ocean with equal parts anticipation and tension, fearful of the unknowns to a point that most would consider irrational, as is common for “my kind”.
I’m alone beside others who are not.