I cried three times in under twelve hours.
Maybe that’s some sort of progress.
That, or I’m getting worse…
I can’t tell.
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I cried three times in under twelve hours.
Maybe that’s some sort of progress.
That, or I’m getting worse…
I can’t tell.
Everyone makes distance
I get too close
Do I suffocate them?
I’m not human
I will never be
I’ve lived long enough
I feel so disconnected
I can’t connect
It’s so little so rare
I have earned nothing good that I have
I thought I’d be ok now
.
April 15 – 16, 2025; Sitting in my car after a class.
I’ve been wrong about a lot, but one big thing is that this can’t be fixed. It can be fixed! It can be fixed! It can be fixed! There’s one way. Just one.
I’m here, and I’m not here. I shouldn’t be here at all… I’m blinking and fading in and out of existence…
…I could have gone so much further
Could have taught myself so many things
When the world opened to me
When I could finally reach the lessons
…
Isn’t it funny sometimes, the things that our brain decides to retain for us, without our conscious choosing?
Our first convention, I forget the exact year but it was at least two decades ago…
“If I am worth anything later, then I’m worth something now.”
— Someone, somewhere, some time.
Maya Angelou (I think?) said that every storm runs out of rain.
It’s not really wanting to die so much as wanting to disappear.
Dying does take care of that, but maybe there’s other ways.
Today was a little clearer than usual.