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Category: Journaling

Late night thoughts, wishing to be gone articulated

Published by Lee Under the Cedar Trees on November 30, 2025

I want to not be like this. I want to be able to accomplish and explore. I want to be able to feel real connection. I can’t connect with others. I can’t balance my life. I can’t reach goals. I can’t keep my thoughts straight. I can’t I can’t I can’t. I don’t want to be this person. My brain doesn’t work properly. I know I’m not supposed to be here. I’m not meant to be here.

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Autumn Forest

Published by Lee Under the Cedar Trees on October 16, 2025

I’ve awoken in this forest again. 

Under these cedar boughs, shaking dead leaves  from my hair, I yawn and rub my eyes.

It’s already late, but sun rays are still finding their way in. The maple grove hidden inside has turned so orange, yellow, and iron red. The season is late too, and so my bones, my joints, my sinew — they all cry out their dread for the snowstorms that are always on their way, always just around the corner.
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2025-10-07 thoughts on a friend’s return

Published by Lee Under the Cedar Trees on October 7, 2025

Such joy to see you returning so healthy and happy! With a spring in your step, no less, and a sparkle in your eye, holding care and forgiveness in the firm grasp of your hugs.

Granting acceptance with your presence, you return the missing to the damaged.

Everyone you touch finds themselves at least a little more whole for it.

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