It’s not really wanting to die so much as wanting to disappear.
Dying does take care of that, but maybe there’s other ways.
Today was a little clearer than usual.
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It’s not really wanting to die so much as wanting to disappear.
Dying does take care of that, but maybe there’s other ways.
Today was a little clearer than usual.
It just occurred to me today that tiredness and sadness feel (almost???) identical to me.
anything I have. I’m so damn tired.
Ki-ken-tai-ichi you take in through your eyes and your feet at the same time, feeling that floor rumble beneath you
Fumikomi declared with a strong foot decisively says “I am here, I am committed, harmonized, alive”
We symbolically kill, each death of them or us represents us climbing upward
Give yourself permission to be sad once in a while. It won’t kill you.
Relationships of all kinds are tested with how they handle their first (or any?) fight.
I’ve had so few fights with friends. I wondered why before I realised that I’m usually ghosted first.
November 26, 2024
Those who plan their own demise can choose exactly how long to grieve their own end before they go.
A friend recently mentioned jealousy in a conversation, which got me thinking…
I don’t get jealous so much. I don’t hate others — I just can get very very sad if I lose something important, and internalize it. I have a problem with myself, not the other.
I suppress the surges, even when I don’t mean to.
They swell, then subside.
I swallow and swallow and swallow them. I push them so far down, I think they must be gone.
Empty in the outer layers, but, underneath, tiny vibrations, too far away to register with a label, yet present enough to remind me of my worth.
I’m screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming
to myself, silently
into the dark
hoping for catharsis
but I’m still just as fucked