I'm a middle-aged nobody breathing one day at a time in Ontario, Canada.
This tiny corner of the Internet is an outlet for unmasking random thoughts and creations surrounding life in general, adventures in budō, and any other topics that come to a ridiculous mind.
"Through journaling, your voice cannot go unheard."
I feel like there’s something I’m not willing to admit to myself
But I keep getting closer to uncovering it
I feel like I need to. It’s part of the process. But I’m afraid it’s going to hurt
Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe it’s something, but not such a big deal. Maybe it’s not very painful at all. Maybe I’m overreacting to a minor discomfort. Maybe it’s something absolutely horrible, something I will hate myself for.
Distant countenance
Calm façade yet further down
I can’t stop screaming
Finally finished
Mind and body spent, now
Exhausted and still
Ready to repeat
It all again tomorrow
If the sun will rise
Will I be tempered in the crucible
Of this cutting new awareness,
Maybe even sharpened to a razor’s edge?
May they serve to remind my future self of the importance of perseverance, of how quickly things can change, and the value in maintaining good human connections with the right people.
Some days I get a little angry.
Some days I get a little rebellious.
I don’t know why.
Some days I get extremely angry,
almost enraged,
and I still don’t know why.
Could somebody please
Do me a simple favour?
Is this really grief for the fantasy now dead,
Or is it regret for seven years tainted
With a lie I told myself?
Revisiting words
Those that once tugged emotional strings
Wetting eyes and shortening breath
Without changing form
Somehow have become vicious…
Cleaning to pass time
Long wait to see friend again
Smiling all the while
Friend’s words taking root
With generous perspective
I can hope again