I'm a middle-aged nobody breathing one day at a time in Ontario, Canada.
This tiny corner of the Internet is an outlet for unmasking random thoughts and creations surrounding life in general, adventures in budō, and any other topics that come to a ridiculous mind.
"Through journaling, your voice cannot go unheard."
(A continuation of 98% Sure)
It was and is the right choice.
I still know this with 98% certainty.
So
I wonder if what’s really making me so sad about this now
Is not that what could have been never was
Is not that I continue to resolutely choose this
But why it’s so certainly right
And how part of me wishes
(In my selfishness)
It was all a big mistake
And I am able
And actually deserve
To add to humanity’s pool of the world’s only
Truly unconditional love
October 8, 2024
Quiet return drive
Dark cool evening brings with it
Surge my eyes ignore
…you can see me, still,
If you know how to listen…
I’m don’t think I’m seeing many of the things
That most others can see
…
Don’t make me look
Drifting untethered:
Appearing as morning sun
Friendship most needed
I was always so sure.
98% sure, I would think.
“Just isn’t for me”, I would say.
How do others find the courage?
If I can’t get better, maybe I’d rather reach that level where I can finally act rather than remain in limbo.
How might things have been different?
The meanings of refinement
Include to purify, to reduce
To make more fine or polished
To make elegant or cultured
I have a mind programmed
To cultivate all the data, to gather all
That could ever
Possibly hold any kind of significance
At any point in the future
You could reasonably imagine
I meet fork after fork after fork in the road.
Every single time I circled back here
through my entire life I have persisted to the right,
side-eying the forgone left as I carry on,
wondering if it was really the best choice.