I stopped existing for five hours.
I cared for nothing. Wanted for nothing. Desired, sought, perceived, sensed, feared absolutely nothing. Nothing existed. Not even a void to speak of. My body remained, and persisted by the efforts of others, entirely at their mercy.
They say this is the closest we can get to death without actually going there. It’s such an absence of anything, I can’t even call it an “experience”. It’s more like a complete lack of experience.
Is this really a preferable state? I think that for some people, at some points in time, it is, and that makes sense. Is it so for me? Maybe not, after all. Not quite yet. At least for now, I think death can wait a little longer.
.
June 19, 2025
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