Secret Wishes Buried in Anonymity

Sometimes I wish they all could see them
Sometimes for the smallest fraction of a moment
I wish they could read all of my creations
I wish I could recite them aloud, screaming from rooftops
I wish they all could understand the sideways language
I wish they all could see through the stone face and darting glances
I wish they would see, hear, know

But then

I think of them seeing me from the inside out
I imagine their mind’s fingers combing the strands tangled in my shallows
Their feet stepping into my shadows beneath me
Their breath down my neck
Their piercing awareness
Their lingering, accosting gaze
I’m envisioning them knowing every inch of my mind
And I’m so terrified 

That instead

I shrink away
I hide in corners, facing walls
I shrivel and dry a tiny bit further
Rather than risk the agony
Of feeling their thoughts inside me
Brushing lightly, like fingertips
In places they never asked to be
And where they’ll never want to go

December 6, 2024