On dōjō community, its interpersonal connections, and the feelings it inspires.

Sometimes I look around the dōjō at the students and teachers around me, or I think about them when my mind wanders during other times of the day when remembering a recent class or event. I find myself thinking about the microcosms of the individuals there contrasted against the macrocosm of that oddity that is the lot of us coming together on this one path at the same place and time.

I think about those who take the path and encounter difficult trials, but where others would slink away in surrender, these individuals instead choose to stay.

I think about how we each come with our own unique histories, our own biases, our own opinions, and our own relationships with the world and other people around us. Somehow, despite all these differences, a handful of us find common ground on this floor. I think about this, and feel how very human and real each one of us is.

We can strike each other to raise each other up, giving of ourselves and receiving of others simultaneously. We train in combat techniques designed to disable or kill, that we will, realistically, never need in our lifetime. We symbolically “die” to our allies over and over again, so that they can better themselves, and they do the same for us in return — a symbiotic relationship.

In moments like this, it feels like there’s a tiny thread of connection like strands of a spider web between us all.

In moments like this, I wonder if there’s something wrong with me to lead me to think this way.

In moments like this, wish I could tell them how wonderful they are, how strong they are just to still be here… but I have to keep such thoughts to myself, and sometimes that makes me rather sad.

In moments like this, I can’t help but to love each and every one of them dearly.